Horrible Housing Hyperbole

Like the plague of cooking shows..there are hundreds of tv shows about houses.

The creative geniuses who make these shows have covered every possible angle of housing.

There are shows ending in CRASHERS..one of the most offensive is “KITCHEN CRASHERS”….on this one an extremely abbreviated Jewess accosts Americans in DIY stores and promises them a free kitchen….the artificial enthusiasm is appalling…and because Americans have had their vocabulary 1984’d …the victims of the kitchen remodelling always seem to use the word “wow”…followed by “incredible”…when the host introduces to their “noo kitchun”….the wife usually tears up a bit too…then the piano key toothed hostess leaves the guests in a blaze of glory,like she has just found a cure for cancer.

The most sophisticated hyperbolists are the British TV versions.Because Britain is the home of the English language,the natives have got the greatest command of the Language.Often middle class pommy children have a greater natural ability with English than teachers of English in secondary schools in the colonies….AND they often have degrees in English!!.

So pommy housing programmes are not quite so bad….BUT they are STILL FUCKING AGGRAVATING…plus they have taken up the continental kissy kissy palaver when the host shows up for a progress report on the house building…..One good aspect of the British shows is the visible growing annoyance of the house builders with the gushing fake enthusiasm of the TV host…by the end of the show they are quite obviously fed up with the whole process and are regretting signing the contract with the TV company..so they have to steal themselves one more time before they get rid of the cunt….

The British Grand Designs programme is fronted by Kevin McCloud….a suave sophisticated presenter,or so he reckons…multilingual too…well that’s the impression he gives….but comment on the internet says it’s all front…that is,his Italian and French is simply appalling.He is a keen aficionado of the kissy kissy routine…he pulls it off with panache…according to comment on the net the excruciatingly embarrassing misplaced puckering up is edited out.

But for skin crawling embarrassment you have to travel to the Antipodes…Both Australia and NZ have franchised Grand Designs tv series (both fronted by the obligatory Jews)…

If the continental smoochy kissy kissy touchy feely routine does not come naturally to the British….then in Australasia it is totally alien…..Maybe one of the conditions of the franchise is to ” slobber over female house owner”….and enthuse wildly about “space and light and the harmonious juxtaposition of angles”…

“On no account use adjectives sparingly..go for broke even if it sounds unnatural”.

“Wildly enthuse over house fixtures,like window latches”

So if you think the incredible stupidity of dumbed down Americans is bad…you sort of expect it….try the toe curling embarrassment of the British housing shows….great displays of enthusiasm do not come naturally to Poms…

Wait till you get to Australasia…where high Kulture is non existent…you only go for the kissy routine as a prelude to bonking sheilas certainly not when greeting sheilas at a doorway…especially if you hardly fucking know them!.

The Australian host is bad enough,but the NZ one is frighteningly bad…sometimes the sheilas on the end of his puckering seem genuinely bewildered by his unwanted advances.It’s extremely awkward and excruciatingly toe curling embarrassing…after all…all the cunts are doing is making a programme about building a fucken house.

You could mention the COMPULSORY midpoint financial crisis…the fucking cunts always introduce…but that would be getting picky.

Naturally a newly installed dictator would very seriously contemplate jailing these housing hosts for crimes against common decency.

 

 

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